In DBT skills training we talk about three states of mind: wise mind, emotion mind, and rational mind. Emotion mind is at the helm when any particular emotion is dominating our thinking. We can be in a balanced state of emotion mind (emotions are appropriate to the circumstances) or move on a continuum to an extreme state of emotion mind (feeling suicidal rather than sad or angry; feeling grandiose rather than happy or proud).
Today I noticed I was often caught up in emotion mind. I was sad about the loss of a friend who has been in my life for about twenty-three years, and angry about the circumstances of that loss. Just noticing and naming, "oh, emotion mind...sad," or "ok, emotion mind...angry," helped me to take a few steps back, identify and accept the feelings, and know that the feelings are something I am experiencing within my own mind, rather than something bigger or more powerful than me. Difficult emotions are no fun, but by remembering to notice when we are in emotion mind, then going on to name the dominant emotion/s, we are able to relate skillfully to those feelings as they take place in the present moment. We don't have to "fix" them, change them, or do anything about them. Just notice. Try it and see what happens.
By the way, identifying emotion mind is a useful thing to do when we are experiencing more benign emotions, too. Reminding ourselves, "oh, emotion mind...pleasure," (as we bite into something delicious), or "ok, emotion mind...happy" (as our loved one smiles and gives us a hug) can double the positives of the emotion in the moment, and generally enhance our emotional control over time.
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